My cousin Geoff and I wrote this Eulogy, which Geoff read at her funeral.

Karen Fallesen was born on August 16th 1922 in Grindsted, a small town in Jutland, Denmark. I can remember, as a little boy, being very confused that if you were from Grindsted you somehow were Danish, but if you were from East Grinstead, you were English!

Karen had an older brother, Carl, and her parents, Waldemar and Maria, owned and ran the general store in town and they lived in the flat above. Her mother cooked and cared and they were a well-known and loved local family.

They had a little summerhouse on the West Coast of Denmark at Henne, where Carl and Karen spent their summers, playing in the sand dunes on a seemingly endless white beach. Although a small country, it was a long and exciting trek in those days in her father’s car. Her mother had many siblings and the cousins, aunts and uncles met regularly for family occasions.

When war broke out, Denmark was occupied and the Gestapo took up residence in Grindsted. Karen was 17 and after a year or so went to Copenhagen to train as a beautician and chiropodist, staying with a doctor’s family. This is where she acquired her “champagne taste”. She set up her own chiropody practice and enjoyed her work.

In 1947 Karen wanted to see a little more of the world and she was introduced to an elderly London lady, who was looking for a companion to help her. Living in St John’s Wood, she perfected her English, but she could never say “shrimp”…it always came out as “srimp”!

She learned to navigate the foggy London streets during pea-soupers…quite an achievement. It whetted her appetite to stay longer in this big island. She finally ended up in New Malden staying with her mother’s friend, Ellen. This is where she met Bill Richardson at the tennis club.

She returned to Denmark for a while, but they missed each other. I remember my mother telling me that her brother, Bill said, “I have to go and find that little Dane”. They were married in Denmark in 1950 with Bill drawing on his minimal linguistic skills to say his vows in Danish!

Karen and Bill first set up home in Emsworth, but when new work beckoned for him, they started looking for a plot of land between Croydon and Gatwick Airports. They found Slines Oak Road in Woldingham, where they built Danelea with the help of Bill’s brother Jim.

Karen used her many talents to create a cosy, welcoming and unusual home with pot plants on the window sills – apparently not common in 1950s England. As many of you probably know, she had very green fingers. Bill dug out the flints from the garden and built walls to contain the terraces for the fruits and vegetables he grew.

In 1956 they had my cousin Ann. Karen’s mother stayed with them in the early years as did Bill’s mother from time to time, but it must have been hard work - a baby, a mother with Parkinson’s, a mother-in-law with a heart condition, and a house half way up the big hill. But they were happy times.

They built a strong family - Bill moving through the ranks of civil aviation, finally becoming a Director of British Caledonian; Karen busy with home making, pickling and bottling the garden produce that Bill grew. My mother told me that Karen was very grateful when freezers were invented!

Karen was ferrying Ann and her friends around, while also contributing to the village community through her voluntary work and membership of the Wives’ Fellowship, where she met and made many friends.

She also had a series of elderly people in the village that she befriended and cared for – shopping for them, taking them to appointments or sitting and talking with them.

Karen was a good needlewoman too. She enjoyed embroidery as well as making curtains and many of her own and Ann’s clothes. I always thought of Karen as stylish and I knew she appreciated quality. She was an excellent cook and a generous hostess. She took pride in her table and made sure that glass, silver and settings were ‘just right’.

Karen, Bill and Ann visited Denmark regularly to see her brother and family there.

Our families, the Richardsons and the Brunnings, were together frequently, most weekends I think, but as a child I do remember my sister Bar and I sometimes were ‘volunteered’ to help clearing the next terrace that Bill was building, as he worked his way up what seemed to my sister and to me to be the side of a mountain! These close family relationships and times were very important to all of us.

For several summers our families went on holiday together – towing the ski boat to the South of France or Spain. Karen’s Danish nephew Ib joined us and we were all very physically active – except Karen. Karen was not a keen swimmer, but soon she became an expert water ski instructor - from the vantage point of the beach!

By the early 1970s, Karen was a well-established member of the Woldingham community and Bill’s work took them to international conferences hosted by different aviation partners around the world. This gave Karen the chance to travel extensively to America, Hong Kong, New Zealand, Australia, South America and Europe. She had a ball and I know her support helped his career.

The people were interesting, the parties generous and the sightseeing schedule stimulating. Karen was delighting in the different outfits she would need and her suitcase was constantly being packed and unpacked. There were also a couple of trips to the Palace, which were undoubtedly a highlight.

Ann tells me that, in the heat wave of 1976, socialising around the Lancaster’s swimming pool became a much loved feature of the Woldingham summer calendar, with much laughter and generous amounts of gin and tonic and, for Karen, dry sherry on ice.

By the mid-1980s, Ann was living and working in London and travelling the world. Bill was preparing for retirement and learning about helicopters. But this is a sad phase. Bill became sick and died in 1985. Karen was only 62. She stayed at Danelea for three more years and managed the enormous garden on her own during this time, seeing it as a kind of therapy.

But then she spotted Verlands and decided to move to the top of the hill. With the help of her nephew, my brother-in-law Den, Karen renovated the little house and made it her own, adding a small extension. Again she made a beautiful home and tamed the garden. Ann tells me the work of Arthur and Elizabeth Herbert was tireless. It became a tranquil and manageable retreat with the ongoing help of Frank Burchell, as they worked together in the garden once a week.

In her mid-sixties, I remember we were all impressed that Karen decided to learn to play bridge. Karen was soon in full swing, playing three and four times a week and thoroughly enjoying herself. Apparently she gained a reputation for being ‘hot on the rules’.

All this time Karen, was still very much involved in the local community through Wives and Barnardos. She drove friends to shops, doctors’ and hospital appointments. The relationships she had fostered for 30 years in the village became firm friendships. And there was much warmth and laughter.

Ann has told me that many a birthday or pub lunch – that meant generous amounts of Merlot - were shared and enjoyed amongst a particularly close-knit group of friends. They also went on holidays together – to explore the midnight sun via the Norwegian fjords to the Arctic Circle, European river cruises and sightseeing trips in the UK and Ireland.

Karen and Ann spent a snowy Christmas 2002 in Prague and bravely walked the icy streets. They took a couple of trips to Denmark on the ferry and drove to places Karen had not been, enjoying the opportunity of playing tourist in her home country, before meeting up with family.

In her eighties many things happened: her brother Carl died. In 2006, she had a tumor removed; followed a year or so later by a nasty fall. And then aged 87 she had a stroke.

She recovered very well from that event. She was just left with damage to her left arm and her spatial awareness, which meant she didn’t notice anything that happened on her left side. However there was nothing wrong with her rational brain or her long and short-term memory - as many in this church will attest! She never lost her wit, mental acuity or her interest in other people, the village and world news.

But she could no longer live alone. Being dependent was very tough for someone as independent and spirited as Karen. It gave Ann the opportunity of looking after her and it introduced Karen to many wonderful carers, many of them local, with whom she has had a remarkable relationship.

Karen led a long and happy life. Over the past year or so, the physical challenges increased and she repeated many times, that she felt she was past her ‘sell-by-date’. I know that in the last week of her life, she was at peace with the probability that her journey was coming to an end. She grasped that opportunity and made her transition with exquisite ease and elegance, three days before her 94th birthday.